I'm Not Mad, Only Lost

The sun sets in a twilight explosion,
Hopelessness with a touch of magenta.

My thoughts push and pull like ocean tide.
Morning sand is creamier than evening sand.

The ocean’s a chaotic reflection
Of my spiraling mind; it spirals up and down.

Time is laughing, dancing around me: I’m
A defenseless spirit. A body abandoned.

I’m a synthesis: a synthesis of the infinite sea
And finite ship, at the mercy of their dance.

I’m shackled, amidst pure possibility. The infinite
crossroads my new home, my sacred truth suppressed.

Bon voyage for hope; set sail for reason.
Water’s formlessness purifies, actualizes.

The ceaseless unrest of turmoiled waters.
I yearn for solid ground; for unmoving foundation.

I’m a fool to think I master my own fate,
Destiny is for the starry-eyed; I’m blind.

My darting mind grasps for mercy,
No matter how dangerous my savior be.

No one ever told me that despair felt so like madness.
Like being Face-to-Face with the Void; empty chaos.

Rejected, outcasted — in a whirlwind of dread,
I’m not real until I accept all the shameful pieces of me.

So console me in my misfortunes, pity my tragedies,
But do not aid me when I despair; you won’t find me.

And when you think of how you would prefer me, show me that idea,
So, to the end of time, I can shatter it myself.